Log in

No account? Create an account
Unwarranted Expectations [entries|friends|calendar]
Tim Mo

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(Show off)

The End [01 Jan 2006|04:46pm]
Everything I have in my head...it begins to fade away. I search for it, I long for it, now I know it's gone. Everything has slipped away. And I'm so overwhelmed. Everything that rests upon my shoulders fell. I would like to tell anyone who has depended on me for themselves; "I'm sorry." And everyone I've held in my arms...I believe I pushed away. I would be there if I could be there, but as it stands, I'm gone. Everyone has slipped away. And don't be overwhelmed. Everyone that loved me more than I could tell; I'm sorry. There's a private hell for anyone who lives to only love themselves. Everyone has slipped away. Everyone has slipped away. Everyone has slipped away. Everything has slipped away.

---Juliana Theory, "As It Stands"

<td>Timothy Moffett</td>

(4 could care less | Show off)

The End is near [01 Jan 2006|04:44pm]
Well, here we are. I remember saying a while back, either last summer or the beginning of this year that this journal was nearing its expiration date. I might have even said that it would last until the end of this academic year. But I thought, hey, why not wrap up 2005 in the most appropriate manner by ending this thing? I think so.

To all of those who have had problems with me, had problems with this journal, problems with what I have said, I guess you can rejoice and feel victorious, but this really isn't about you. I mean sure, it plays into my mind the hassle this journal has caused. It seems every time I was unabashedly myself and didn't care for what I wrote, those were the times that somebody would get offended. I think I treaded a fine line between keeping it censored in that regard and in being quite honest. Oh well.

I'd like to think I started keeping a journal before anyone who is reading this did, and I'm sure that is true. I remember I started out at a website called "Bizland" first writing my life's story in journal format back in 1998 before anybody was on LiveJournal. But that's cool, this isn't about me anymore, this isn't about ego.

However, this journal was about me. Oddly enough, that may be why it was perceived as: selfish, bigoted, stupid, pointless, egotistical, rude, snobbish, boring, etc.

Sadly, this journal may have mentioned you from time to time, but it was not about you. Although I tried to make it be that way sometimes. There were times when I started writing not for myself, and it would seem that I would get in trouble just about every time I did. So I wrote a journal for myself, but made it public to anyone who wanted to see what was going on. And I have felt appreciated at times, I have gotten very nice comments and people asking about it and that is fun, but ultimately it needs to end. If I am writing a journal, then I need to write it for myself and I may do just that but I have no idea if that's going to happen.

So, it's an end of an era. Even if you couldn't care less, it's still the end of an era. And I also take responsibility for some things said, I apologize to people who have been offended and for things being taken the wrong way and also for things being taken the right way. But I don't want to hold back, and I felt I did that too many times, and when I didn't...whoops. I don't mind though, that's part of the game.

What I need to do is be less selfish and less, oh what's the word.............judgmental, I believe. I think an end of a journal will help do that. Because seriously, what's the point? I am the only person that I am always around, so keeping a journal about my life makes me think I am so much better than everyone else and it's hard to be humble like that. I do so many things wrong, but it's time to do something right.

Take care of yourself.

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]